TheAdventures of Shannon the CookieCrazy GirlScout
by Bubblewrap is my life
Summary: Edward Cullen has become a vampires,read minds,wanted to eat the love of his existence, left said love, tried to kill himself, and faced psycho vampires on a weekly basis while remaining relativly sane but one meeting with Shannon and that is the end.R


A/N- This is about my friend. Please read and review. I hope you enjoy. All I own are 20 or so boxes of Girl Scout Cookies.

Our story begins on a freezing morning in Kentucky outside a Wal-mart. There were two teenage girls in front of the door setting up a table. Why do you ask? These girls were Girl Scouts. Now I am guessing you have a picture in your mind of braided pig tails, a ugly plaid jumpers, and nasal spray. This is what the government wants you to believe. I'm going to tell you a little secret, real girl scouts own Converse Sneakers, have pictures of Kellan Lutz as the wallpaper on their phone and lives. Amazing , I know. Now these two girls Shannon and Emily (generic aren't they) may look like two of these "real" girl scouts . But truthfully when the word 'cookies' comes up, Shannon takes on the persona of a rabid chipmunk and Emily is trying to figure out what the female version of Vladimir is so she can change her name and become sole dictator of Guam.

But back to Wal-mart, the girls had finished setting up their OUTSIDE booth. I know what your thinking A) What is this author on and where can I get some. ( Ice Cream. Most grocery stores.) B) All the booth sales I've seen are INSIDE. ( Yes this is usually true but Wal-mart is evil). Anyway Shannon was now having a conversation with an elderly customer.

Shannon – (evil voice) Buy cookies and I won't kill your grandchildren.

Old Person- (scared) ooooooooookkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy

Shannon – (sickly sweet voice) Would you like a bag Sir.

Emily mouthing off to Old Person – Sorry about her. The doctors say it's good for her to get out sometimes .

Here is where the victim in story enters, one Mr. Edward Anthony Masen Cullen. Now while Mr. Edward would probably not win sanest man of the year in any of his 107 years he was about to lose whatever sanity he had ever had . Now the events that happen after Edward enters could have been avoided if Edward wasn't so good looking, you see Shannon's doctors and parents had put Emily in charge of making sure Shannon didn't do anything too bad and warning them for legal issues if she did. But our friend Emily was far too busy staring at Edward to notice anyone or anything else.

Emily-(thinking) So good looking. He is soo good looking.

Edward-(thinking) She's literally swooning at the sight of me.

Shannon-(walking up to Edward)(sickly sweet voice) Hello Mister, would you like to buy some Girl Scout Cookies? We're trying to go to Vegas. You see I was Elvis in a past life and I want to meet my impersonators.

Edward thinks – Weirdo

Edward says – No. (and tries to step around Shannon)

Shannon is quicker than him- (same voice) Are you sure? They are only $4 dollars a box and( points to Emily still drooling over Edward) doesn't she look like some who needs to go to Vegas and live a little.

Edward says – No. (and tries to step around Shannon)

Shannon says – I know you can't eat them because of what you are. But you should buy them anyway.

Edward-(hysterical) What are you talking about silly girl. (nervous giggle)

Shannon- (gangster voice) Ya I know wat u r boy and it ain't a toaster. ( I would just like to point out shannon's whiter than white bread) (back to sickly sweet voice) 20 boxes and no one has to know your little secret.

Edward buys Twenty boxes and runs faster than humanly possible.

Shannon and Emily- (sickly sweet voice with innocent smiles) Thank you for supporting the Girl Scouts!!!

Shannon- He thought that just because he was a vegan he wouldn't have to buy cookies. Muhahahahahamuhaha (evil smile)

A/N I hope you liked it. My friend Shannon is not really like this it just inspired by her (or at least that's what she wants me to say) I am going to make this a multi-chapter fic with both twilight and harry potter characters. It will probably be about 6-7 stories in the series. Stay tuned for dun dun dah : Shannon VS Lord Voldemort . Please review they make me happy.


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